zlife

I have begun work for RCH cable. I knocked on some doors on Saturday and Sunday.
There was a sale both days, but the sale on Saturday ended up cancelling.
Last night, Tuesday evening, I turned in paperwork to Sergio and saw some of the
other sales people. Some of them are obviously making a lot of money, even if they don't speak Spanish. Or, at least one is making good money, although he does not speak Spanish.

I got paid $200 by Carolyn Ostic yesterday.

On Sunday I went to the Downey church of Christ in the evening.

I have talked several times with John Avery, who is the JW who met me outside the Trader Joe's in Camarillo. I told Dave Schulz about him and John may join us for lunch on Sept 29, but that is yet to be determined.

I chatted some with John Avery the JW today. I said that I would have some suggestions if he ever desired or was drawn to read some Christian biographies. I also asked if he wished to greet in person or by phone some of my friends and I gave him the names and numbers of 4 Christian friends. I don't think he will call them, though.

I was with two of the fellows from RCH cable and they made a bunch of money yesterday, but it was partly because they speak Spanish and our target market includes many Spanish speaking people. I don't know if I'll be able to make much money with this, at least until I learn Spanish!

This morning at the 24 fitness I had several erections during my time on the stationary bicycle and I liked that. Also, after several of the erections, there was a wet spot on my shorts from "pre-come." I liked that also. During some of the time, I thought of a sexual scene involving a wife spanking her husband in the presence of their daughter.

I was paid yesterday evening. This morning I had the Camarillo Oilstop place change my transmission fluid. Then, when I drove to the El Pollo Loco, there was coolant boiling and hissing and being emitted. I went back to the Oilspot
and the people there thought that the problem was a thermometer not working. I went to another place and paid $30 for a diagnosis and they say that my radiator is leaking and my hoses are in bad shape and they recommend replacing the thermometer at the same time, but all this would cost about $550. I had them just put in fluid and drove to Gardena, where I'll work knocking on doors for a cable company. It is 3:34 now and at 4:00 or so I am supposed to meet Sergio and be with him briefly to knock on some doors. I assume that the cable company is Time Warner, because there is a Time Warner office across the street.

I'll be over near LAX for the new work for RCH cable on Wednesday and subsequently.

I gathered some signatures in Moorpark Monday afternoon. I saw another woman or two wearing pants that showed gluteal crease. One had a kid with her.

In the evening, John the JW called me and we talked for several hours, until about 8:00. I asked if he believed that God had poured out His Spirit on him and John said yes. I was not expecting that answer; I assumed that JW's regarded being anointed and having the Spirit poured out on one as being the same thing.

toward the end of the conversation, both of us said that we had appreciated the conversation and I said that perhaps John would become a forever friend, as opposed to those friends I have and with whom I lose contact over time.

John said he saw a lot of potential in me as a preacher of the word of God, which makes me laugh

Denise Carlson asked how a person could know when it is God who is speaking. My answer is

on how do you know if the person speaking to you is in fact God,
there isn't any single answer that covers all cases. However, if we assume the Bible generally speaking to be the Word of God, then we would know the following:
1) the true God is willing to be tested to be shown that He is the true God, I John 4:1-3;
2) the true God will in some cases give various kinds of "confirmation" that He is speaking, Judges 6 and elsewhere;
3) the true God will often speak to us by bringing to our attention or remembrance scripture verses or passages, John 14:26, but citing scripture is not sufficient to establish that the one speaking is God, see Luke 4:10; moreover, an ambiguous text should not be taken as a prooftext and a Bible verse, if cited in answer to a question, is usually insufficient if it leaves unexplained other Bible verses or indications that would seem to contradict the answer being drawn;
4) the true God will, if necessary, do miracles to prove His point or that He is speaking, Acts 1:1-3, Judges 6, I Kings 18:24, Exodus chapters 1-4, but miracles by themselves are not sufficient to prove that the one speaking is God, Dt 13:1-5, Mark 13:22;
5) messages which contradict or appear to contradict the Bible should be disbelieved or doubted until proven sound, Isaiah 8:20, Acts 17:11;
6) the long run fruit of the messages in the life of the persons believing them should be love, joy, peace, etc, Galatians 5:22, 23. Some believe that the fruit of the Spirit is also short-run test of the authenticity of a message being from God, but I am not convinced of that, partly because a lot of LDS missionaries claim that they feel love, joy and peace while testifying about or praying about the Book of Mormon and partly because I've known one or more others who've also made mistakes in the messages of God who make the identical claim;
7) the true God will at times tell the future, I Samuel 3 and John 16:13, but telling the future is not sufficient to establish that it is God who is speaking, Deut 13:1-5;
8) in the case of competing claims to be God established by miracles or by other means, the Bible gives us reason to believe that God will engage in contests with His opponents and will win, see Moses and the magicians of Egypt, see also Elijah and the prophets of Baal, see Jeremiah and the false prophets of his day;
9) God will speak with a wisdom that others cannot gainsay or resist, Luke 21:15;
10) I think that messages not from God will over time tend to contradict themselves or other information known to be reliable and that messages from God will over time be coherent.

Some messages from God to a person may be "established" simply by bringing a scripture verse or passage to that person's awareness. Other messages will be established only after a series of miracles or an experience such as Saul the persecutor had on the road to Damascus and further while in Damascus. I think that there are two basic rules to follow from the above:
for most Christians, a Bible verse or passage or a passage from a Christian biography consistent with the Bible "brought to mind," should be presumed to be a message from God unless there is good reason to believe otherwise;
other messages require sufficient confirmation to be proven of God, until a person by experience is able to recognize God's voice as being God's voice.
Sufficient confirmation or proof may vary from case to case, but in the final analysis, one's personal peace determines whether or not the proof is sufficient or additional proof and investigation is required. In some cases, I believe it is right to say, "God as best I can determine such-and-such is true; if I am wrong, you'll have to show me, but I have previously asked you to show me the truth, and this is the conclusion to which I have come."

Sunday I went and gathered signatures in Moorpark and it was nice. Very few people said that they had already signed.

In the morning, at the local Pollo Loco restaurant, there was an attractive woman wearning some nice pants that showed her gluteal crease as such. That was nice, I thought. I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time because I was reading the newspaper in front of me; I should have put them back on. The woman was married, I presume, because of her ring.

This morning, Monday morning, they finally said that I could work for RCH cable. Presumably I'll be starting Wednesday or Thursday.

sept 10, 05

I gathered signatures at the Ventura Farmers Market this morning. While gathering there, I was standing and my feet started to ache and trouble me and I thought of times in the past in which I had done things "for God" that had aggravated various of my injuries and I regretted having done them.

Last night I watched the movie The Man, but it was not very good.

Yesterday or yesterday evening I asked God what was the truth. Later I figured that I would like to know the truth about 8 things:
1) about what John Shaner says God says;
2) about the woman in 96 saying there was a calling on my life to minister;
3) about predestination;
4) about homosexuality or bisexuality being morally OK;
5) about whether or not people are supposed to worship God and/or Jesus;
6) about what Julian of Norwich says God showed her;
7) about universalism and hell;
8) about the existence of the devil.

Actually, when I was thinking of these things last night, I put the questions about the devil and hell first.

I see women here in Ventura County at times wearing their pants that show their gluteal crease as such. I remember that in April 2004, that I saw one such woman at the bank where I was doing a transaction shortly before going back to Seattle that year, and it made my day. I think it happens more than I had realized here and sometimes it is even of those who are Christians or who wear crosses or go to church. At least, if I remember right, I saw a woman so clothed who was checking out a Christian book from the library one day.

Today I was gathering signatures at the Camarillo Trader Joe's. I had good results there last night. Today was slower, but I did meet and talk with two JWs, who were John and Michelle. They have been witnessess for 20-some years. They seemed happy with God and were nice and peaceful. I told them a little of my story of being LDS, leaving the LDS church and being alone with God for the last 17 years. I also said that I was at times angry at God and did not like God very much. I gave to John a scrap of paper with my name and phone number and with 5 or 6 scripture verses on it. I also asked John if Pharaoh had been able to do otherwise than God had foretold in Exodus 4:21. John said that he did not know.

John did not think it was good that I was without fellowship and cited Hebrews 10:25 and I said that if and when I needed more fellowship, I imagined that God would lead me. Till then, I am in a state of waiting.

Last night at the Trader Joes I met Russ who works getting subscriptions for the Ventura County Star and who says he is making a ton of money doing that. He says that his first week of soliciting for the Star, he made $900, and about the same amount the next two weeks. He gave me the name and number of Joe of the Star in the event that I wished to work for the Star rather than gathering signatures.

In the evening, I asked God about whether or not his being my shepherd would be bad for his reputation. I said that it seemed to me as if it would be. If God is my shepherd, wouldn't a whole bunch of people want to avoid God as their shepherd?

After chatting with the two Witnesses, I did not tell them I would be praying for them, as I have for other Witnesses in the past. I did say that if they wished, they could pray for me that God help me.

sept 8, 05

I gathered signatures in Oxnard on Wednesday and made $30, which is not much, but was OK. In the evening I read two NDE accounts at the site near-death.com.
One was dull and the other was more interesting. It was the account of Christian Andréason. It was a semi-Christian account. He claims that God and Christ don't desire to be worshipped and should not be worshipped. He believes that all will be saved. He also says he was troubled by the question of bi-sexuality at some point and some angel or guide in the NDE shows him that gender is only temporary and doesn't matter to God. The angel also showed him two persons of whom it is said:

"One other thing I was shown was a couple engaging in activities that focused on Lust rather than Love. My lady guide said that these individuals were in great spiritual duress and bringing upon themselves a life that would present much challenge. . . Later the lady also revealed to me that the two dimly beings in spiritual duress ... had been a married heterosexual couple."

Re Christ, he says, "Jesus IS the great leader for all the Sons and Daughters of God, especially those who follow the Christian faith. It was made very clear to me that Jesus does not want anyone bowing down to him and being subservient."

This seems to be in contradiction to certain other NDE accounts.

This morning, Thursday, I talked to Jonathan in Sacramento, who said that headquarters of RCH cable was still processing my background check and they should know by Friday afternoon.